Color Blocks

Today I said goodbye to one of my favorite clients who is also one of my favorite people in general. B just finished the fifth grade and is moving down South on the last day of school. We've been working together since November and she was such a dedicated kid. She came every week and impressed me with her courage and tenacity to work through her sadness and anger. Her parents were in the process of separating (not mutually, however) and she was struggling with the idea of "losing her family." At 5am on the morning of her birthday, she awoke to the sound of police officers in her kitchen arresting her father for alleged sexual assault. A few days before, she had told me that her parents were planning to take her to the Build-A-Bear store in the mall on her birthday and that the three of them were going to have a special dinner together. She was so excited, and I think mostly about her parents spending time together and fulfilling her vision of a "happy family." I told her that it must have been really sad and scary to have her father arrested, especially on her special day. I know I have to say the "tough things" to kids, but sometimes it gnaws at me. I was so furious at her father. It's difficult to sit with kids in that moment and realize that you can't make it better; you can just try to contain some of their rage and sadness.

During the months that we worked together, B constantly amazed me. One day she told me that she was having a hard time finding the words for her feelings. Since she loves to paint, I suggested she try and paint the feelings--their colors, shapes, textures, sizes, etc. I never know what's going to happen when I ask kids to engage in these kinds of activities and B blew me away. She painted these blocks of different colors and varying sizes and then, without missing a beat, proceeded to tell me what each of the blocks represented: sadness and confusion, excitement about new friends, anger, sadness about missing her friends, and finally, a gray block, "this is like nothing, just feeling nothing." She did have the words.