Full disclosure

Before I mention my mistakes at performing the art of the therapeutic relationship, (or alliance as it is often called, but doesn't that seem more appropriate when discussing, for example, Venezuela, Bolivia and Cuba, or the Cylon Alliance?), I want to clarify that I graduated from my MSW program in 2004 and have only been doing clinical social work for just under three years. And when I say 'clinical social work,' I am speaking broadly because working in a grassroots community organization and a school has made my learning curve rather steep.

Under most circumstances, I do not disclose personal information to my clients. I explain that the therapeutic setting, unlike in other kinds of relationships, is about exploring only the client's thoughts and feelings and that answering personal questions would take away from the client's own ideas about what the answer might be (or something like that). I know I am not alone in considering this aspect of therapy as one of the more difficult areas to master as a new clinician and several times have smacked myself in the head after a session saying, "why, why did I answer??!!!"

In addition, working in a school or community-setting can blur the boundaries between clients and clinical social workers and has often made the issue of personal disclosure particularly stressful for me. I recall that in the first month at my job, I was asked to see a mother who had previously received individual clinical services through our program. A fellow staff member kindly introduced me to her and then reassured the client, "Don't worry, she speaks Spanish and her husband is Latino!"

And sometimes the questions make me ponder how unjust the world can be and how difficult it sometimes is to imagine living my clients' lives. I was finishing a session with one of my mothers right before school vacation a few weeks ago and as she stood up to leave, she asked me if I was traveling anywhere. I thought about our session afterwards and realized that if I were to have disclosed, she would have heard me say that I was going to la playa in her country of origin for three days—a homeland that she has not been able to visit for 19 years because of her undocumented status. I have been working with this client for three months to help her feel empowered enough to leave her husband of 20 years who has been verbally and sometimes physically abusive, and all-around controlling. In fact, she remains undocumented because although her husband successfully petitioned for her to become a permanent resident, he confiscated the paperwork and prevented her from completing the process. That was 6 years ago.