Daydreams

With the end of the school year fast approaching, my kids and I have been reviewing the work we’ve done together and their plans and feelings about the summer vacation. This is called termination-- perhaps a frightening term when referring to human beings, but hearing it over and over in the social work context makes it seem rather normal. For selfish reasons (I've been dreaming of leaving the US again), this has been an especially enjoyable process with E., a fourth grade girl who is going to Mexico for the summer. E. explained that she and her mother were going to her aunt’s farm for the month of July, and that E. would remain there without her mother during August. “I’m not sure if I want to go there,” she said. I asked her why and she shrugged, “Maybe I’ll get bored.” I asked her to imagine a typical day in Mexico, from waking up in the morning to going to sleep at night. She described playing with her chickens, picking mangoes, chopping avocado and garlic for her aunt's posole, riding horses, and eating hot sauce and tortillas. As she spoke, I saw a picture in my head of dry, sandy land, blurred by the intense heat of mid-afternoon sun. I saw her aunt grinding masa for fresh tortillas, “terminating” a chicken for sopa de pollo, and chopping cilantro y jalapeños on an old wooden table. I saw E. running after her baby chicks, riding a bicycle with friends, and staying outside until bedtime instead of being tempted by cable or video games. I talked to her about what an extraordinary opportunity it is to be able to experience a different way of life in another country, especially among family that loved and cared for her. She drew pictures of her aunt and her cousins with a large yellow sun burning above them. At the end of the session, she said, “Thanks, ---! I’d forgotten how fun it was to go to Mexico and now I’m excited to go.” After she left my office, I almost felt guilty for enjoying our Mexican visualization--it certainly made me excited to go! I was, however, definitely "in the moment" with E., unlike when I become anxious about my skills during a session and wander away in my mind instead of being with my client. In this case, I started where my client was at….and it was wonderful.