Los Papas

Goodness, I haven't written in a while. I'm seeing so few clients during the summer that even supervision has been more infrequent. Our major task for the summer is to complete progress notes and treatment plans, evaluate the previous school year, and plan for September. Strangely enough, we’re three and a half weeks into the ever-diminishing verano and I have yet to complete one treatment plan.

But let me write about something I have accomplished, sort of. We've started planning for a fathers group that will begin again in the fall. We tried to implement a support group for fathers last year and we had a limited, albeit enthusiastic, response. In particular, three fathers became dedicated members who amazingly felt comfortable enough to discuss their marital relationships and childhood experiences, and how to talk to their kids about sexuality. I write, "amazingly" because these are Latino men who are traditionally very closed to talking about their family cosas with anyone, let alone two female social workers (thankfully, we have one male colleague helping us facilitate).

I also realize that this is not reserved for Latinos and is quite common among males of many ethnicities as it is generally understood that most males are not socialized to be "touchy-feely." On their evaluations of the group, they wrote things like, "It's really important to share with other fathers," and "I want to learn new ways of communicating with my kids." I realize I am feeding into stereotypes, but I am surprised by those comments, especially from "macho" men. In the parenting workshops that we coordinate, almost all of our participants talk about how in their home countries (Dominican Republic, Ecuador, Mexico, Honduras...) most parent involvement in education involved a faja, a chancleta, and a vague mandate to "do well in school." This is a generalization, of course, and has a lot to do with socioeconomic status and previous generations' educational attainment as well.

Despite our few eager dads, my colleague is pessimistic about a successful group next year, and she should know. She works with the after-school program and has daily contact with all the parents. "They tell me they are interested, but I see them throw the flyer out as soon as they turn away from me. They don't want to talk to anyone about their families, and they don't even want their wives to come to a support group; they want their mujeres at home."

In situations like this, it becomes very critical to remember that affecting change in just one family can be a success.

Something else to read

I've been away from work for a few days. The school year ended and I've moved out of the school and into my agency's office and took a much-needed (albeit short) vacation. While I was away, I read a fascinating book that I recommend to everyone working in social work, public health, and education, as well as anyone who is Latino or works with Latino communities.

In the Land of God and Man describes how "good girls" are brought up in Latin America and how for the author, there was very little room for questioning the Church, the law and the roles of men and women. She explores abortion (including a disturbing passage on the methods women utilize to perform self-induced abortions), homosexuality, transvestitism, men having sex with men, machismo, and the impact of gender roles on the whole society, including the women who can afford to employ servants and those that live in favelas. A key thread is the effect that AIDS has had on these prescribed gender roles (for example, the infection of "monogamous" wives who married as virgins) and how it is forcing these issues out into the open. The author enriches her journalistic accounts with her own personal experience as a "good girl" in Colombia who becomes "americanized" in the US during high school and college.

Toward the end of the book, she discusses how there is no exact translation of the word, “empowerment” in Spanish, despite the widespread use of the term by foundations, organizations and the World Bank to fund and operate programs aimed at “empowering women.” She writes, “Is the word ‘empowerment’ such a foreign and imported –and censored- concept for Latins that there is no space for it?” After I read this, I realized that I have tried to say the word “empower” to many of my Latina clients and never really felt I was translating it correctly. It seems it will take much more than a dictionary to translate that concept.